Adult, Drama

The Stewardesses (1969)

Comments Off on The Stewardesses (1969) 04 August 2017

Stewardesses

Studio: Kino / Salvation / Jezebel

Theatrical Release: July 25, 1969

Blu Ray Release: December 13, 2016

Director: Al Silliman Jr. 

R (re-rating, originally X)

Review by James Klein

With a budget of about $100,000 and grossing over $30 million, The Stewardesses was one of the most profitable 3-D movies ever made. A cult hit and shown for years in theaters at midnight screenings, The Stewardesses is finally making it’s blu ray premiere the way it was originally intended, in 3-D. 

These sexy flight attendants along with their hunky pilots fly on a transpacific airline and once they land they fill their evening and spare time with debauchery such as drinking, drugs and screwing. The film never really centers on a specific character and spends maybe 10-15 minutes at a time with someone before moving on to the next segment. Between confessing their love for one another or trying to hook up with the male chauvinist pilot Brad Masters (William Condos, make up artist on Queen of Blood and Blood Bath) or trying to hook up with a well to do celebrity; hell even one stewardess is sympathetic enough to hook up with a Vietnam vet. These ladies simply love to get nude and make fuck. And it’s all in 3-D. 

Before you get too excited, this is a 1969 nudie flick so don’t expect a wet, hairy gash flying off the screen and into your face. This is more in the lines of just straight nudity; no penetration, no hard man-pig’s, just the three B’s: boobs, butts, and bush. 

Also, may as well warn you folks, The Stewardesses is a lousy film. Despite basically no plot, the acting is putrid. I have seen better acting in an H.G. Lewis film and director Al Silliman (great last name, fits him well) cannot compose a shot to save his life. A characters head will be cut off frame or someone will be talking to an arm. Who framed these shots? It looks downright amateurish as if the cameraman was a toddler, where certain sequences look as if the camera was placed on a tripod with one leg longer than the other.  Such a shame too especially in a 3-D movie where composition is all the more important. My only guess that this movie did so well was because it was the first X rated 3-D film to come (pun intended) to theaters. 

Even more jarring is the sudden change of tone at the very end of the film. Throughout most of the The Stewardesses the tone is very light-hearted and plays almost like a montage of shameless and spontaneous nudity until Samantha (Christina Hart from Helter Skelter) finds out the man she’s hooked up with, Colin Winthrop (Ronald South) isn’t the charming man she thought. Instead he’s kind of a crass jerk with a dark past. Out of the blue, Samantha kills him with a heavy stone statue and jumps out of the balcony to her death. WTF? I have to admit I laughed out loud and enjoyed the insane ending as the rest of the film was rather boring but it’s still nonsensical and depressing. 

Kino’s blu ray offers viewers the option to watching the film in 2-D and 3-D. Honestly, there is no reason to watch this in 2-D. The 3-D keeps the film from being atrocious by offering some sort of amusement. Director Silliman loves feet! Quentin Tarantino would be in his glory over this as several bare feet protrude from the screen. I love seeing some woman getting pounded as her feet fly into my face. There is a pool table sequence that, while it serves no purpose other than to have pool cues pop into the viewers face, I happened to enjoy this weird moment just for the sheer 3-D effect. While the transfer has some print damage, the picture quality for the most part is really good. There is also an aid trip that’s quite weird and really neat to watch in 3-D I might add with some really nice colors that pop. As for the sound…ugh. I cannot fault Kino as this was a very cheap film (you even see boom mic’s and camera shadows throughout) so the production crew probably didn’t know how to capture passable sound nor was there any ADR work done in post-production. Dialog is very hard to hear at times and even the sound effects sound hollow and muffled. 

Aside from the theatrical trailer (it’s in 2-D) is a short softcore film called Experiments in Love from 1977. This is also in 3-D and much more entertaining than The Stewardesses, in fact this short alone is worth the purchase. Experiments in Love is a hilarious short about two women in states of undress as they create what appears to be some sort of new 3-D camera. The women also work with a horny, Asian-sounding computer who has a mechanical arm that tries to take their clothes off or pinch their ass. While trying to be an educational short about three dimension, there are shocking moments like a flying penis flying towards the viewer. Near the climax it…well…climaxes. There are other 3-D moments that look great and pretty impressive. I am really happy Kino added the short to the blu ray.  

Maybe with the right people, The Stewardesses might be passable or entertaining. But at 93 minutes I can only take so much bad acting and naked dancing girls. The real treat is Experiments in Love, a must see if you want a funny, silly 3-D short with nudity. 

The Stewardesses Rating: ★½☆☆☆ 

Experiments in Love Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Blu Ray Rating: ★★★½☆ 

 

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