Porky’s II: The Next Day / Porky’s Revenge (1983 / 1985)

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Studio: Kino

Theatrical Release(s): June 24, 1983 / March 22, 1985

Blu Ray Release: December 6, 2016

Director(s): Bob Clark / James Komack

Review by James Klein

The Porky’s movies to me are the equivalent of eating White Castle or Sbarro; you may crave it and it may start to taste good but you are left feeling regretful for even eating. The Porky’s sequels are much like the Police Academy sequels in a way as the original film is very funny but as the series went on it got dumber and dumber although Porky‘s at least retained their justified R rating and didn’t become a family oriented series 

And now I am going to be biased; I grew up on the Porky’s films and the fact that my parents hid the original VHS tape when they rented it just reinforced my will to see this movie at my friend’s house in the winter of 1986 during a sleepover. I clearly remember high-fiving my friend when he told me he rented the three films and with his older brother and his older brother’s friend we were introduced to the likes of Pee-Wee, Meat, Cherry Forever, and Lassie. For those that have no idea who these characters are, stay clear of the Porky films as they are probably not for you. I will try my best not to cloud my judgement of the films with pure wonderful 80’s nostalgia. 

Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983) 

Director Bob Clark returned for another installment in the Porky’s films after just one year. Given that the “teenagers” were all in their mid to late 20’s when the first film was made, this wasn’t a bad idea to rush the sequel. It’s also interesting to note that Clark was also directing A Christmas Story at the same time (talk about two very different films) and the leg lamp actually makes a cameo appearance during one sequence in Porky’s II.

After the events of the first film where our heroic teens taught evil entrepreneur Porky (Chuck Mitchell, also known as John Cusack’s boss in Better Off Dead) a lesson, it is the next day and strangely they are back at school as if nothing happened. Even Mickey who was all bandaged up and on crutches is now perfectly fine. In fact, Porky is barely mentioned in this installment and does not even make an appearance. The reasons behind even calling this sequel Porky’s II is a bit of a mystery. 

The story focuses on our heroes who are currently performing on stage for a school project about the works of Shakespeare. However there are some religious zealots run by Reverend Flavel (Bill Wiley from Baby Geniuses) who find that the works of Shakespeare are inappropriate, obscene and should be stopped. He gets support from the local KKK members along with some dirty politicians who can’t afford to lose votes. Little do these organizations know that the horny teenage boys of Angel Beach High have devised a plan (and a rather elaborate and unbelievable one at that) to blackmail and defeat the people who are trying to put a stop on the teens performing the play. This is the plot of Porky’s II people. This feels like an After School Special with swearing and some nudity. Even Clark’s somewhat bland directing makes it feel like a made for TV movie.

While the first film did get bogged down with moments addressing bigotry and child abuse, there was still plenty of stupid and hilarious slapstick moments that made the first film a classic. Porky’s II does try to be funny with some of the expected pranks that one anticipates but they just aren’t that that funny (snake in the toilet) or make much sense (the graveyard scene). And where is the female nudity? Aside from a few moments of female breasts, one is left with a long sequence near the climax of naked men running about. WTF? This may have been the funniest moment of the film as seeing old, nude men run about is always funny but still! Porky’s II is a disappointment and while I love that the cast and director have returned, the film feels rushed and wasn’t thought out, trying too hard to follow on the heels of the original film. 

Porky’s Revenge (1985) 

Clark was busy working on Rhinestone at the time as he was unavailable to finish out the trilogy he started so the producers obtained James Komack, known for directing many episodes of various television series such as Welcome Back, Kotter, Chico and the Man, and Get Smart. Strange that they got this guy to direct the third and final installment and it certainly shows. Porky’s Revenge is even more bland in the directing style than Clark’s second film, with everything brightly lit and centered in the middle of the screen. It has a Made For TV feel that just annoys me. 

The “teenagers” are now retiring…oh I mean graduating and while they try and get the cheerleaders to have an orgy with them, they find out their basketball coach is in over his head with Porky in owing money. The teens promise Porky they will throw the Championship game in hopes to help pay for their coaches debt but decide to win anyways, screwing over the fat man and saving the Coach.

As for his revenge? Porky kidnaps Meat, forcing him to marry his ugly daughter (although she has a nice rack in one scene where she’s nude) so he can have little Porky grandkids. It’s really an idiotic plot but no more than a plot revolving around a Shakespeare play. At least Porky (and the female flesh) returns, thus making this a better film than the second entry. I even laughed a little more than I did in Porky’s II but not a whole lot more and that was mostly due to the silly graduating scene involving Pee-Wee getting a boner. 

Kino’s blu ray release of the two films look fine and sound fine but nothing that impressive. Porky’s Revenge looks the worse as while watching it, I felt like I was watching a DVD and not an HD upgrade as the picture was grainy and not quite as clear as the second film. As for the extra features, there is only a trailer for each film, another disappointment. 

Ok maybe I don’t love these films as much as I remembered. Maybe its the memories of watching them that I love and hold dear. God knows it ain’t maturity. 

Porky’s II: The Next Day Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 

Porky’s Revenge Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

Blu Ray Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

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