Studio: One 7 Movies
Theatrical Release: January 13, 2012 (Italy)
DVD Release: October 13, 2015
Director: Domizaino Cristopharo
Review by Vidal Granandos
“The world rejects me so I reject the world. This cruel world…”
Hyde’s Secret Nightmare is an Italian adult film that tries to blend erotic and horror together. Unfortunately, neither style’s are done very well. Scenes throughout the film lastsway too long, while characters are gone as soon as they are introduce. Too many different elements piled on top of one another lead to an uninteresting plot, leaving fans of either genre confused and bored.
Hyde’s Secret Nightmare starts off with a man named Henry (Claudio Zanelli) dreaming about cutting his own dick off. That’s right folks, buckle up because it’s going to be one fucked up ride. Anyways, Henry is a scientist who can’t get an erection so he tries to come up with a serum to get his penis working again. Henry is helped by his hunchback sidekick Hans (Giovanni la Gorga), and a necrophiliac, grave robber named Abdul (Andrea Autullo). Henry believes that by taking hormones from the brains of dead bodies, he will be able to make a chemical reaction to will make him be able to get an erection.
Desperate to pop a boner, Henry experiments on himself only to pass out from the effects. While in a state of limbo, Henry is approached by an angel and demon. They make a bet for Henry’s soul, saying that when the time comes he will have to make a choice. Another stipulation that is added is his serum temporarily works but at a cost. When Henry wakes up he has turned into a woman (Roberta Gemma). He/she then gives a hand job to his assistant Hans only to change back into a man during mid-stroke. He threatens Hans never to speak of it ever again. What a day at the office. Meanwhile, Abdul has sex with one of the corpses he is supposed to bring back to the lab only for the corpse to come alive, again during mid-stroke. He is arrested shortly after but the cops want to figure out who was he stealing the bodies for. Will the cops be able to find Henry in time? Will Henry find a cure for his ding-a-ling? Or is he doomed to stay as a woman forever?
The problem with Hyde’s Secret Nightmare is it has too many things happening at once. The story becomes convoluted too quickly to ever really get any development going. Sure I gave you the basic idea of what the plot is suppose to be, but as the film progresses it never makes any sense. For instance, Henry needs bodies to get hormones from so he pays prostitutes to have sex with him then kills them. Or he takes the serum to turn into a woman and kills men. Why? For science of course! It’s never clear if he wants to stay a man or woman. The cops who are trying to find this killer/grave robber scientist are barely in the movie. It makes no sense to try to add in a detective story. If they couldn’t add enough random shit, by the end of the movie there are comic book panels thrown in after death scenes. Maybe they were put these in to give the film some style but it’s added so late in the movie that there’s no point.
Hyde’s Secret Nightmare has religious tones throughout the movie such as the angel and demon bet, sex being a sin, conversations about how humans view sex etc. Other than the angel/demon dilemma, none of the other religious talk seems important though and could simply be some food for thought or maybe needing to fill in lines to coincide with the messy script.
Hyde’s Secret Nightmare also has moments where the film turns into a porno. Hooray! After two minutes of a sex scene, the movie turns into a gross out horror film. Boo! We see dicks bitten off, ball sacks being pierced, pussies being stabbed by knifes. Fair warning: there are a lot of dicks in this movie. Like a lot. Now I have no problem seeing a penis on screen every now and then but this movie takes it over board. We get close ups on guys beating off, guys jizzing, guys rubbing their balls, and so many guy’s hairy bushes! Where are the women? Roberta Gemma as Hyde is the only one who shows off her body. There are two other girls who show their boobs but the dicks to pussy ratio is way off.
During some transitions, actors break the fourth wall by looking directly at the camera and discuss interesting topics such as being gay during the early 1950’s, how woman/men relationships and roles have changed over the years, and an elderly couple discussing how important it is to keep romance alive. There’s even a scene where Claudio Zanelli talks about how Nazism affected the pharmaceutical industry. He claims that 20th century investors wanted to make a profit so their goal was to replace natural, effective but not patentable, remedies with basically ineffective products but that are patentable and therefore profitable. That was smart. Too smart to be buried under all these dicks. These moments are the best parts of the film by far because it gets the viewer engaged and thinking. Whoever wrote this or wanted to include these parts in the film is a genius. The dialogue is so well written that you figured you were watching an entirely different movie. Does it break off the flow of the movie? Yes. And thank God that is does! If I had to see another man beating off, I’d turn off the movie. These interview moments, however, all bring up interesting points of view. I only wish the rest of the movie was as interesting.
* Deleted Scenes
* Photo Gallery
I could barely make it through the two-hour film so watching the deleted scenes was a task in of itself. I regret I did too since nothing enjoyable came from watching them. Bloopers are always fun. Seeing actors forgetting lines or feeling as ridiculous as the film is always fun to watch. While the “Confessions” segment took a more serious route, actors talked about having safe sex on set. They talked about how important it is to use condoms both in and out of workplace. They go on to say that one should never feel ashamed for wanting to use one and to never compromise to not use one. Remember always bring a rubber.
Hyde’s Secret Nightmare was a nightmare to watch. Honestly I don’t know who this film is intended for. It has too many elements involved and does none of them well. It has an angel and demon dilemma with a detective story that goes nowhere. It wants to be smart at times while letting the rest of the movie be idiotic. Terrible character developments while other characters are completely forgotten. It’s not sexy enough to be an adult film. It has gross moments so I guess it’s a horror film. The only scary thing is how shitty the film is. Without the fourth wall breaking interviews, I don’t think I would have been able to watch the entire film as is. Even then the interviews are not worth sitting through, watching all these guys Johnsons flopping about.