Horror, Sports, Zombies

Pro-Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014)

Comments Off on Pro-Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014) 03 February 2016

Pro-Wrestlers vs Zombies coverStudio: Troma

Theatrical Release: March 28th, 2014

Blu-Ray Release: October 13th, 2015

Rating: Not Rated

Directed by Cody Knotts

Review by Craig Sorensen

This is not the way I want to remember Roddy Piper. 

Pro-Wresters vs Zombies is everything I hate about watching low budget films these days.  A stupid idea, terrible videography, shitty sound, bad acting and awful directing.  Even the title is lazy.  If you see any film with a title like _____vs______ just walk away.  If that’s the level of creativity on display then you’re better off watching youtube videos of people getting hit in the nuts for an hour.  At least that might actually be funny.  Look, the only time that a verses title worked was with Godzilla vs King Kong.  You know what the difference was?  It wasn’t fucking ironic.  In order to make irony really work you need to be funny and smart.  No one that has used a vs title is either of those.  They’re just lazy.

I hate this film.  And it pisses me off even more to see the titular ‘Pro-Wrestlers’ debase themselves for this.  Look, I think in order to be a good professional wrestler you need to have a pretty good screen presence.  It’s as much acting as it is athleticism.  Sure, it’s broad and not as nuanced as traditional film acting but they are playing to the cheap seats.  It has more in common with stage acting than film acting.  That doesn’t mean that it can’t carry over into film.  I mean, look no further than Roddy Piper.  He didn’t necessarily break out into real mainstream films the way that he should have but he was able to carve out a nice niche in low budget films as a leading man.  He was able to do good work with such luminaries as John Carpenter and Sonny Chiba.  And he was able to convey those subtle emotions that are needed for film.  He actually gets a kind of poignant scene here with another classic ‘80s wrestler “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.  It’s a short oasis in a desert of crap but it’s there.  Piper is able to bring a bit of pathos to his performance here and it’s tempting to cut the film a little slack because of it.  I’m not going to.  Anything he brings to the film is his own and he should be commended.  It’s not there due to any effort of the filmmakers.  Shane Douglas also imbues his character with a sleazy charm.  He is supposed to be the villain here I think but it’s hard not to like the character because of his performance.  The other wrestlers here don’t have a lot to do.  I would have liked to see more of Jim Duggan and Kurt Angle.  Angle gets in there, picks up his paycheck and gets the fuck out so good for him I guess.  I’ve never been a Matt Hardy fan and he doesn’t do anything here to change my mind.

I’m not going to bother with a plot description here.  It’s pointless.  Something about wrestlers trapped in a prison fighting zombies.  Honestly I was so bored that I started installing Windows 10 updates on my parent’s computers while watching this.  I was so bored I wanted to deal with computer updates instead of watch Pro-Wrestlers vs Zombies.

So, what did the disc look like?  Looked like shit, that’s what.  This is a cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap production.  It looks like everything was shot on a high end consumer camera.  Maybe a DSLR?  I don’t know.  It looks cheap is what I’m saying.  Most of it looks like it was shot in a high school gymnasium.  Sound, of course, is shit.  A shitty mic locked to the camera maybe?  Sometimes it was difficult to hear dialog.  I had to keep riding the volume controls to turn it up or down.  The stereo mix does a good job of boring you with the generic alt-metal soundtrack though so that’s something.  You get a couple of extras here including a commentary and a ‘theatrical’ trailer.  Also you get some ‘Tromatic Extras’ which I’m sure everyone loves.

Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

- who has written 151 posts on UnRated Film Review Magazine | Movie Reviews, Interviews.

Craig hails from 'Parts Unknown'.

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