Horror, Vampire

Queen of Blood (2014)

Comments Off on Queen of Blood (2014) 10 January 2016

queen of blood

Studio: Intervision 

Film Festival Release: April 4, 2014

Blu Ray Release: November 10, 2015

Director: Chris Alexander

Not Rated 

Review by James Klein

While listening to director Chris Alexander’s overly smug and pretentious audio commentary, I have come to really hate directors of horror films calling their movies “beautiful”(he does this more than once). I used to hear many arty farty film students, smoking their cigarettes and calling some of their favorite art films “beautiful”. It was a sign that their own films wouldn’t make any sense, focusing more on style than substance. You need the ying and the yang. You need jelly with your peanut butter. Just because a certain sunrise that you captured on film looks good, doesn’t make your entire film good. This is where Queen of Blood fails in that while there are certain moments where the film looks fine, the movie is a boring, dragging mess.

Queen of Blood does not have any dialog, and while a movie should be able to stand on its own without any dialog (hell, there are a bunch of great silent films that did this for many years) I really had no idea what the fuck was going on with Queen of Blood. Queen of Blood is almost a direct remake of Jean Rollin’s s The Living Dead Girl in that a mysterious woman (Shauna Henry) is dressed in white and attacks and kills others with her long nails, almost always going for her victim’s throat. The woman is found in a swamp by some cowboy and after he takes her home and cleans her up, she kills him. Why? I have no idea. But she does this to everyone she runs into. Is she a vampire? A lunatic? Are what we watching just a dream? Plenty of questions are raised, none are answered.

The remainder of the film is just her wandering around and killing others, half the film is done in slow motion with various moments cutting to black for no apparent reason. There are long lingering shots that go on and on of spiders or bloody hands caressing or a characters face staring at something…it all started to get laughable. It doesn’t help that the movie was shot on a cheap digital camera, killing any “beauty” this director was looking for. I guess I should be thankful that at least actual fake blood was used and it wasn’t some cartoony digital blood that has now popped up in every movie lately. But even though the film clocks in at 77 minutes, Queen of Blood just drags on and on. If you like shots of someone walking around, sometimes in slow motion with cheap, jarring music playing the entire time, you will be in heaven.

How can I judge the picture and sound when the movie is shot on a cheap digital camera and there is no dialog spoken? It looks like what you would expect and you can hear the music (unfortunately) throughout the film. What else can I say? The special features on the blu ray are plentiful at least. There are two alternate endings with one that makes no sense where the heroine is in a bathtub all of a sudden(?) and another where she hitches a ride from some stranger. Whatever. There is a small featurette of the blood effects going wrong which was at least a little interesting. There’s also a quick introduction by one of the actors in the film, Nivek Ogre as well as a brief featurette of him acting on the set. There’s a shitty shot on video Q&A with director Alexander babbling about his “beautiful” movie and his “artistic vision”. Then there is the audio commentary which…ugh, the director is such a tool. Every other word is “fuck” or “fucking” and he talks about man vs nature themes, hand motifs, and how brilliant his actor Ogre is. The only thing he says on his commentary track that I liked was how he hates CGI.

Another special feature on the blu ray is Alexander’s previous film Blood for Irina which, low and behold, is the first film in a trilogy! Oh God, there’s more of these movies? Queen of Blood is a sequel? I’m sorry folks, I’m not watching it. I had to listen to this jagoff’s audio commentary just for this review and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna watch another Chris Alexander beauty. I got too many blu ray’s for Christmas that I’d rather watch.

Movie Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Blu Ray Rating: ★★☆☆☆

 

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