Theatrical Release: December 11, 2013 (limited)
DVD Release: February 10, 2015
Director: Gregg Golding
Review by Travis North
I have put off writing this review for a while now. It has been a long time since I have hated a movie so much. Cosplay Fetish Battle Drones was pure agony to watch, so spending more time in trying to write anything about it is an exercise I have avoided. I can give it the same level of effort that the filmmakers did, which is to say minimal.
The incomprehensible excuse for a plot involves six easily despised hipster artfags who undergo some form of trauma (like losing your dick in a motorcycle accident) which results in special powers. They combine powers to combat a giant piss-poor CGI’d tumor that floats in the air. Any further description is unnecessary, since the movie can be lazily summed up as “Adult Swim and Power Rangers on acid”.
Cosplay Fetish Battle Drones has inept direction and acting, pretentious dialogue that amounts to nothing more than pulling random words from a community college philosophy textbook, humor that falls flatter than pounded shit, and the lowest of low budget special effects. I can deal with weird movies that are non-linear, done on a shoestring, or otherwise taken with a grain of salt, but this is utter crap. Over the 75 minutes of this movie I only felt wave after wave of pure hatred and contempt.
Is there anything redeeming or worth recommending? It does have some nudity, but not to the levels that could have been done for something of this caliber. If you like to wear thick rimmed glasses ironically, find forked tongues shocking instead of a sad cry for help, and in general enjoy a bong filled haze of entitlement, this movie is for you! If so, you are in luck since the disc actually prolongs the misery with a good amount of special features. A few minutes of insufferable cast and crew interviews was all I could stand. They weren’t acting, they actually are horrible, annoying human beings.