Adult, Comedy, Drama

All Night Long / Tapestry of Passion (1976)

Comments Off on All Night Long / Tapestry of Passion (1976) 09 April 2015

Peekarama

Studio: Vinegar Syndrome

Theatrical Release: April 1976 / November 1976

DVD Release: July 8, 2014

Director: Alan Colberg

XXX

Review by James Klein

Vinegar Syndrome’s John Holmes / Alan Colberg double feature is really for fans of the King of Boner’s, John C. Holmes. Others, like myself, will quickly find themselves bored or trying forcefully to stay awake. It’s not like these two films are awful, it’s just that they both bring nothing new to the table in terms of adult entertainment.

All Night Long (1976)

The better of the two films, this adult comedy actually started out very promising. All Night Long begins with an adult awards show that pokes fun at adult films in general, as well as award shows. While giving out awards for the Best Cocksucker and receiving statues that look like gold penises, I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the bizarre and silly jokes. My favorite being George “Buck” Flower constantly standing up during the awards show by saying something negative or off putting, much to the crowd’s dislike.

George Buck FlowersOnce the plot starts to unfold, this is where the film starts to go down that inevitable dull path. The awards show ends with a sex hunt, much like a treasure hunt. Two men (John Holmes and Rick Lutze) are competing against one another as they drive around Los Angeles, going from various homes, having sex with a lady, and then going to the next house to do the same all over again as each woman hands the man an envelope with directions to the next home that he must attend. While this is an interesting premise, the sex scenes are neither funny or memorable, except for the girl getting banged on a Peanuts bead spread.

PeanutsAll Night Long suffers once the sex scenes begin. The comedy seems to stall out and the film just drags once the lovemaking kicks in. Why not have funny moments happen while these men are banging these broads? If they are in a hurry, why not a Benny Hill-type sex scene where the sex is sped up? Why not one of the men have sex with a woman who can’t stop farting? If you are going to make a comedy, adult film or not, keep the jokes flowing.

All Night LongPresented in the original 1:85:1 ratio, the print looks pretty decent although there are moments of film damage. But if you look at the film’s trailer, you can see Vinegar did a great job in restoring the film the best they could as the trailer is in rough shape.

Peekarama's All Night LongTapestry of Passion (1976)

I just finished watching this film and I am already forgetting what I saw. That can’t be a good sign, huh?

John C. Holmes brings back his cocky Johnny Wadd character, the adult James Bond / Philip Marlow wannabee who calls women “bitch” and bangs every girl in sight. While Johnny Wadd was a popular character and a staple in Holmes career, I find these naughty films humorless and unremarkable. I have never been a fan of the serious adult film.

Tapestry of PassionJean Osbourne, played by the gorgeous Lesllie Bove (Starlet Nights) hires Wadd to investigate the disappearance of her brother, a sex addict who is both homosexual and hetrosexual. Having called an ad in the paper under the name The Black Widow, Jean tells Wadd that her brother was abducted by this Black Widow and that she believes her brother is now dead.

John HolmesI can honestly say I don’t remember much from this film aside from John Holmes driving around in a car and fucking women. I was honestly bored to tears watching this movie. There is no humor, nothing to make this adult film stand out among the countless other adult features. I will say this may be the only adult film I have ever seen where it ends in a blowjob with no money shot.

John C. HolmesTapestry of Passion looks a bit better than All Night Long and once again the film is presented in the original 1:85:1 aspect ratio as well as the theatrical trailer. Both films sound just fine in the mono. Tapestry of Passion sure could have used more George “Buck” Flower though.

All Night Long Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Tapestry of Passion Rating: ★½☆☆☆

DVD Rating: ★★★☆☆

Comments are closed.

Enter Your Email

FBFPowered by ®Google Feedburner

© 2017 UnRated Film Review Magazine | Movie Reviews, Interviews. Powered by WordPress.

Daily Edition Theme by WooThemes - Premium WordPress Themes

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers

Share This
web analytics