Comedy, Horror, Slasher

You Can’t Kill Stephen King (2012)

Comments Off on You Can’t Kill Stephen King (2012) 02 December 2014

you can't kill cover

Studio: CAV / Big Screen Entertainment Group / Loco Dawn Films LLC

DVD Release: December 9, 2014

Director(s): Monroe Mann, Ronnie Khalil, Jorge Valdes-Iga

Not Rated

Review by James Klein

Although it was shown in a few festivals in 2012, You Can’t Kill Stephen King is making its US debut on DVD this winter. Being a huge fan of King (yes, I even like some of his more recent works) I was both excited and hesitant to watch this movie. Was the master of horror going to make a cameo (answer: no)? At 86 minutes, it can’t be that intolerable, can it?

You Can't Kill Stephen King

A group of twenty somethings are taking a road trip to the town where Stephen King lives (for some reason Bangor, ME is never mentioned and a made up town is used instead), looking for fun and excitement along the way. The introduction of each character by having his/her face in a freeze frame with credits as to who they are has been done many times before but this was actually rather funny, thus making it one of the best jokes in the film. I even laughed when the group arrived at a rest stop to eat and the restaurant is called “Restaurant”. As our characters soon journey to a lake (again, King doesn’t live near a lake…just sayin’) that’s close by the author’s residence and rent a speedboat, the film soon runs out of steam. The somewhat witty jokes soon turn lame and childish and when a mysterious killer shows up, knocking off our main characters, the film just becomes dull.

Stephen king

What saves this film from being a total waste of time are some of the performances by the cast (he characters of Ronnie and Monroe were also the co-directors on the film and also the best actors of the group) and a few practical make up effects. While not insanely gory or original, it was nice to see a low budget movie try at doing some make up gore effects and succeeding. While the three female leads are fine actresses, not showing off some skin is a major cop out for this type of movie. I couldn’t help but be pulled out of the movie during the Shining inspired bathroom sequence where the women have roses covering up their goodies. Since these ladies are somewhat decent actresses, I presume that is why their privates were not displayed for all to see. Still, when making a self referential horror spoof, nudity is almost a must. It’s the butter that goes on the bread. It’s the stuffing that goes with the turkey. It’s the rum that goes in the egg nog. All jokes and no boobs makes James Klein a bored boy.

You Can't Kill

The DVD really doesn’t have much going for it in regards to special features. There is a trailer but aside from that, the DVD is a bare bones release. Really, no one had a camera shooting behind the scenes footage? No film maker commentary? I guess one can be happy that the DVD looks and sounds decent but this was a missed opportunity to add a little something extra to the disc.

youcan'tkillstephenking

Does the film really have much to do with Stephen King? Not really. Sure there are several jokes based from his books (a few more obscure which I enjoyed) and there is a quick mention of the iconic writer at the film’s climax but otherwise this is just another standard teen horror/comedy. Good try though, I’ve seen much worse. If only the film makers had worked more on the jokes as well as finding some actresses that like to show off their milkers, this could have been a much more memorable film.

you cant kill stephen king

Movie and DVD Rating: ★★☆☆☆

 

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