Screwballs (1983)

0 Comments 08 November 2012

Studio: Severin/CAV

Theatrical Release: April 1, 1983

Blu Ray Release: October 13, 2009

Director: Rafal Zielinski


Review by James Klein

Thanks to the widely huge success of Porky’s, the 80’s teen sex comedy was in full swing. From Private School to Zapped to My Tutor to Hardbodies, the theaters and video shelves were chockfull of these low budget, cash cows. Throw in some boobs, horny teens, and the most basic plot and presto! You had your movie which was sure to gain some sort of popularity. Then there was Screwballs. From the VHS cover alone, my horny pre-teen self knew that a certain kind of magic was inside that video tape and my little mind knew I had to see it. Sneaking over to a friend’s house (God, I miss the innocent 80’s) whose parents didn’t give a shit what we watched, we threw on the old VHS tape of Screwballs and instantly fell in love with the film. Thinking it was our own little movie that no one knew about, just knowing that Severin has put this baby out on blu ray just makes me heart warm…and boner hard.

Where Porky’s was meant to be taken as a straight-forward comedy, Screwballs is the Naked Gun of titty movies. This completely ridiculous and stupid film is never taken seriously and the fantastic audio commentary by director Zielinski even states that the film was meant as a parody, a comic book (he compared it to an R rated Archie comic book which actually nails it) look at horny teens in the 1960’s. Five horny teens are individually introduced while at school doing something they shouldn’t be doing (fondling breasts, jerking off, you know, the normal stuff kids get busted for while at school) thanks to the uptight but gorgeous senior Purity Bush. When the five boys are all given detention by the evil Principal Stuckoff, their anger is focused on the supposed beautiful virgin. The five boys make a pact: their goal is to see Purity naked by the end of the school year. The rest of the film are their completely insane tactics in trying to see some of Purity’s…well…bush.

That’s the plot. To see tits. That is the goal, the theme, the conflict. Female nudity. How can anyone not like this film? There is a fat guy in the movie who loves masturbating named Melvin Jerkovski! The preppy kid walks around with a tennis racket all the time! The suppose slut in the school is named Bootsie Goodhead! The nerd gets his dick stuck on a bowling ball! Screwballs is a must see! Just the drive-in theater scene alone is worth the purchase of this movie. If you don’t like the teen sex comedy genre, you won’t like Screwballs, plain and simple. But if you find constant nudity, throbbing boner attacks, inflatable sausages and strip bowling funny or at least amusing, then Screwballs is for you.

Now I am thrilled Screwballs is on blu ray. The fact this film is even available after all these years is a joy. However, what happened to the transfer? It’s barely a step up from the VHS tape. Most of the film seems blurry or out of focus. The colors are muted and while the film retains the grain, I found the picture at times distractingly sub par. Even the audio is only average at best. I don’t mean to complain but coming from Severin, who has put out some fantastic discs, I expected better.

The special features though are excellent. Not only is the audio commentary informative, there are also deleted scenes, trailers, interviews with cast/crew and even a Mr. Skin segment where he talks about how Screwballs was the “holy grail” of 80’s titty movies. Severin makes up for the video presentation with its wide array of special features.

Any movie set at a high school called T&A High is mandatory viewing. Screwballs retains its classic status and should be viewed by all.

Rating: ★★★½☆

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