Ghosts, Horror, Supernatural

The Dead Want Women (2012)

0 Comments 27 May 2012

Studio: Full Moon Entertainment

DVD Release: May 1, 2012

Directed by: Charles Band

Not Rated

Review by James Klein

Charles Band is the master of getting women to take their clothes off. If you have ever seen his road show that he presents at conventions and movie marathons, its just a long excuse to get some women from the audience to show their boobs. Known for starting Full Moon Entertainment and making some of the cheapest films but yet makes a profit off them (think Roger Corman but with the talent of Ed Wood or Ted V. Mikels). While he has directed and produced some films I hold dear to me (Metalstorm, Trancers, and Puppetmaster) he has in recent years turned into making pure dreck (Evil Bong, Gingerdead Man). While The Dead Want Women is a step up from Evil Bong 3-D and Gingerdead Man 3 that is like saying it’s better to be punched in the face than kicked in the balls.

The opening sequence of The Dead Want Women starts off promising. Set in the late 1920’s, aHollywood party is taking place and the silent star Rose Pettigrew is hosting. While the others drink and mingle, she and three other men (one of them is Eric Roberts which really wanted a paycheck or just liked the idea of grabbing women’s butts and boobs) journey into a hidden dungeon where they perform an orgy and soon blood shed. While the film looks rather cheap, at least the late 20’s setting and the ample amounts of nudity is enough to make this reviewer interested and wondering what is going to happen next. Once the film is set in present day, it’s all downhill.

Two beautiful female real estate saleswomen sell the old mansion where theHollywoodstarlet used to live, conducting those bizarre orgies. Little do these women know, the ghosts of these men still haunt the house and are excited that two new gorgeous women have come to visit them. To show that they are ghosts, these men have what looks like plastic Halloween masks on their faces. Not their hands or neck, just on their faces in what is just pure lazy make up effects work.

While the acting isn’t as bad as some of other Band’s films (although the Fatty Arbuckle-like actor drove me crazy with his voice and Three Stooges type antics) the movie is just crap. If the film was left in the late 1920’s, it may have been a bit more enjoyable but the movie just sinks in pure boredom. At one point the film just keeps showing the viewer these women walking around silently in this mansion and we get shots of paintings and sculptures for no reason. After a while, I keep looking at my fast forward button like a junkie needing his fix. Golden rule of all films: do not bore the audience! Even the same set of jugs bouncing about for over 20 minutes soon gets dull.

The DVD looks fine and the making of in the special features section is actually interesting as we see these young actors and actresses really getting excited over making this film (except for the Flapper Girl who looks and sounds like a hung-over stripper). One can’t help but feel a bit sorry for these actors who think they are making something special and are all excited to be working with Eric Roberts, who is nowhere on this making of.

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