Crime, Thriller

Jessicka Rabid (2010)

0 Comments 31 January 2012

Studio: Troma

DVD Release: November 28, 2010

Not Rated

Review by James Klein

I guess this is my punishment for getting the chance to review some decent films this week. Oh boy, yet another Troma film. I wish Lloyd Kaufman would stop acting and just start directing again. I loved Toxic Avenger, Terror Firmer, and Tromeo and Juliet. It seems that any film Troma puts out that Lloyd DOESN’T direct is just pure garbage and doesn’t have the wit and knack for gross out comedy as Lloyd has proven in the past. Instead he puts his name on amateur shit like this.

This ultra low-budget snooze fest begins with backwoods hick Marley (Trent Haaga) driving around in his beat up truck. We get long drawn out moments like this throughout the movie. I guess the film makers wanted to stretch out the running time.Trentlives with his lazy brother Brad (Jeff Sisson) and their caged up “girl” Jessicka (the very big breasted Elske McCain). Why they have this girl caged up who acts like a dog is beyond me. She plays with dog toys, has a collar, eats from a bowl, and even is taken outside to pee when she needs to go out (yes, we get to see this woman degrade herself by peeing on camera. For all you sickos into golden showers, grab your lube!).  When Marley and Brad’s sister Abby (Cisiany Olivar) come to visit them and subjects Jessicka to lick peanut butter off her vertical smile, Jessicka is at her most lowest point. When bitten by a dog, she contracts rabies and goes about killing off the people who have hurt her in glorious low budget and cheap bloody fashion.

This movie may sound better than it really is. The nudity is minimal (although McCain’s natural gigantic knockers with areola’s as big as my palm could be worth viewing) and the gore scenes are laughably bad. Lets just say that I have seen better gore effects in an Herschel Gordon Lewis movie. Why the film makers decided to focus on a fake severed head for minutes is just amazingly stupid and inept. The movie is shot on what looks like 8 mm film stock although judging from the behind the scenes clips on the DVD it may have been video and just made to look this way. I really could care less. The sound drop outs and jump cuts are annoying as hell, intentional or not. The actors do the best with what they have It is in no way their fault that this movie sucks. I even recognized Haaga whose been in much better Troma films like Terror Firmer and Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV. Maybe he just wanted to act in a film where he got a chance to touch McCain’s milk puppies. It would be hard to turn that down.

The DVD does have an audio commentary but if I even tried to watch this again with the idiots who made this turkey, I would have to force my Boston Terrier to bite my hand and give me rabies so I wouldn’t have to endure Jessicka Rabid yet again.

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