Theatrical Release: May 19, 1975
DVD Release: November 3, 2011
Review by Raymond Velez
There’s nothing better than some classic 70’s adult entertainment, right? Wrong! I was given an opportunity to check out an adult film by the name of Big Abner. I have to be honest, judging the movie by its cover, I was a little skeptical at first. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be my kind of nudie flick. But I was able to pop the disc into my Blu-ray player with an open mind anyway. Let’s just say my initial instincts about this flick were right on the money.
First things first, I would just like to point out that there is nothing big about Abner. Not that I care since I am of heterosexual preference. But when the camera spends a majority of the screen time on man shaft, you can’t help but notice that the title to this film is very inappropriate.
Probably the most annoying thing about the movie was the cast. They came off as extremely offbeat and weird. At one point I wasn’t sure if I was bored or disturbed. The acting is horrendous, even for this adult film. I would love to explain the plot but I couldn’t really follow it. I don’t even know if there was one. But the one character that stood out the most is the Mayor. This guy has to be the creepiest figure to grace the silver screen in the adult industry. I might even have a hard time sleeping tonight because of this guy. I’m not kidding.
That pretty much sums it all up. The film plays as a montage of felacio and ejaculation that literally made me turn my head a couple times. And I’ll tell you this: The name Abner is uttered at least 100 times throughout the film.
I don’t want to come off as a negativeNancybut the scene selection isn’t too hot either. Each scene is numbered as opposed to named. But how could you really label each scene with a title? Nothing different really happens. The only special feature is the original trailer, which runs at four minutes or so. It’s crisp and clear but I found that to be annoying as well since I hated the film so much.